The RCG Simpleton
July 28, 2022 | by Marc Cebrian
David C. Pack lead the paid audience of The Restored Church of God in doing the Hokey Pokey on Tuesday, but he called it, “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 384).”
Today is Tammuz 29 and Dave called an audible. After making Av 1 the “next big deal,” he then shifted things to come off of The Feast of Trumpets instead. Which then shifted the start of the Kingdom of God to Av 15. But now, Elul 15 is the real big deal to pivot from. When you subtract 45 days from Elul 15, you get to tonight at sunset. Yes, we are back to Av 1, folks.
I am not skilled enough to make the above explanation any easier. At least I did not take up 79 minutes of your day to do it.
Most people will not have read this article until after Dave has already started his next 24 hours of continuous failure. Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. I am glad I did not remove the countdown from the website.
Elul 15 should be easy for everyone to remember because to the heathens, it is September 11, 2022.
@ 00:35 If this message had a one-word theme, it would be either “simple” or “simplicity.”
Which is it, Dave? He had plenty of time to just pick one and go with it to make the point. Instead, he waffles. So, who is supposed to make that call? Dave presents a one-word theme with options. In his attempt to make something simple, he even complicates that.
He must be so used to giving himself “an out” for when the inevitable failure happens, that his autonomic response is to not take a stand.
Some may think I nitpick by pointing out the seemingly mundane, but once you see Dave and the enablers with the proper light, you can spot noteworthy trends. Is this trivial? Or is the man broadcasting a consistent pattern of confusion and uncertainty?
@ 00:46 Could everything still somehow all be simpler, better, and sooner? Let’s see in this final message.
The angle that the picture is "better" than it was before is like saying that sheep shit is better than cow shit. The problem is that both are still shit. In fact, it is more enjoyable to step into either one than listen to another droning message of delusional fraud.
“Sooner” than May 15 or May 30 or June 5 or June 15 or June 30 or July 3 or July 14? Those dates are worth repeating every time Dave utters nonsense about “things being sooner than we thought” because it is flat-out, not true.
@ 07:03 So, a simple and powerful first kingdom would resolve every question we’ve ever had. All Mystery would be gone. And we would be able to correctly explain “10 evil days” not as starting this so that there's somehow 55 days to the 7-year kingdom but the 10 days close it and everything is 45 days. So on that alone, if we can prove it, it got a whole lot simpler.
Dave has discovered prophetic Silly Putty but calls it a kingdom.
He combs through parables and the prophets of the Old Testament to manufacture a malleable substance, which he then forces into any scenario he imagines. And it will always make the math work.
It is Silly Putty but with different colors to be combined. 45 days. 10 days. 3 ½ days. Even those have some “play” when needed.
If the shape is a square, no problem. Cram a “hidden” kingdom in there and suddenly it all works. If the shape is a star, same deal. Wow, it just fits. What a wonderful discovery in the nick of time.
Instead of the old ways of pounding a circle inside a triangle with a mallet, Dave now has this pliable amorphous kingdom period that can be shaped any way that is needed.
Rest assured, this type of kingdom business is going to have legs. Dave will use it from here on out.
@ 13:39 69 weeks of 7 years each, called a shabua, that’s a week, would have all of those 7 years, every single one of them, there’s no gaps, every single one of them would have started at Elul 15. Now, that’s a bombshell. By any stretch, it’s a bombshell. Our question would be, when the 70th week began, just because, you know, two thousand years passed, nearly, when the 70th week began would God change the date? Would the 70th week, which would be The Day of the Lord, change from what occurred for 483 years? That became the question. And it is it is the ultimate question right now. But you can’t get to that if you don’t have the 10 days fixed.
If you actually try to pay attention when you read that, ask yourself if you are ready to judge:
This message is A) Simple; or B) Simplicity.
@19:00 A full moon at The Day of the Lord fits much better than a new moon on Trumpets, were it The Day of the Lord. So, you’re seeing that things are better than we thought. Sooner than we thought.
There is that word “better” again. If he just keeps repeating it, perhaps it will manifest as reality. So far, I have been repeating, “Hot wife. Hot wife. Hot wife,” and yet, she has not knocked on my door.
It still does not appear that we have ventured into “better” territory. Different is not the same as better. Do you mean, better than proven failures? Better than broken theories? Better than nonsensical babblings?
Dave went on with more math, more calendars, and more moons.
He must have forgotten that he spent almost ten minutes a few weeks back explaining the “perfect math” proving that Tammuz was the final deal.
Perhaps the biblical scholars out there can fact-check this one:
@ 19:36 Well, that’s impossible to argue. It’s impossible that I can see to argue with the fact that Christ’s ministry began on Elul 15. And curiously, it looks like He disappeared for about 45 days right before that.
Matthew, Mark, and Luke all say, “40 days and 40 nights”—not 45. But when should you take what they say as the gospel truth? Dave conjured “five days of slop” to make his current theory fit. See, prophetic Silly Putty in action.
@ 20:12 …then He came back and He said, “My time is fulfilled.” Now, I’m not saying that’s exactly 45 days, but it’s within a day or so.
Curiously, sometimes Dave stresses how important exactness is. But other times, when that just will not work for his current line of thinking, it becomes A-OK to be approximate. Much like when the antecedent is all-important except in cases when it means nothing. Add or subtract. Multiply or divide. Do whatever you need to at the time and you are good to go.
Dave keeps getting boned by Habakkuk 3:2 and what that means.
@ 22:13 I had to admit I had it right a while back. I thought maybe it was Tammuz 1. But it’s still sort of “in the midst of the years.”
It takes a truly humble, mature man to admit when he is right.
Dave did a little more than just “thought maybe” about Tammuz 1. In Part 378, he pressured the brethren to send in their Common while holding over them the threat of losing their eternal life. That was no soft sell.
Thank God for those wicked serpents at the back of the hall who actually RECORD what Dave says.
Part 379 – June 25, 2022
@ 07:13 It is not possible, write it in your notes, it is not possible that “the month” the Bible talks about is anything other than the fourth month and Tammuz which is about 96 hours away.Part 379 – June 25, 2022
@ 18:34 I believe that [Tammuz 1] no less certainly than I believe the seventh day is the Sabbath.
Is Dave now keeping Sunday? Are Ed and Dr. Viljoen wandering the hall with Sharpies making folks redact their notes?
I cannot figure out if this is lying or denial. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think Dave is cracking and it is becoming harder to hide that.
For those interested in revisiting his adamant push for Tammuz 1, read “Cancel Your Thursday Lunch Plans” written on June 26.
@ 28:33 But God knew there would be one more message and I could clear all of this up.
I knew. Dennis and Gary knew. Brad knew. Everyone else knew, Dave. Just like we all know this is not the last one. If I had any retirement left to place on a bet in Vegas, I would go all in. The days of your long-winded voice are far from over.
Dave cleared nothing up. He just reshuffled the deck after the cards were dealt.
@ 46:19 All of that becomes easy to understand. It’s an Elul event.
But not too long ago, Dave pointed this out.
Part 376 – June 13, 2022
@ 8:44 But you know, I’d watched us go from Sebat to Adar to Adar II to Abib to Iyar and then to Sivan.
Then to Tammuz. Then to Av. And now we are back to our old friend, Elul. But when you subtract 45 days from Elul 15, you land back on Av 1.
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around…
It is Av 1. It is not Av 1. It is Av 1.
This reminds me of all that Elijah business. I am Elijah. I am not Elijah. I may be Elijah in the future. I have already been Elijah. I am not Elijah the Prophet.
If only this website was up and running at the time of the Ws. Folks in RCG five years ago remember that debacle. If anyone still has those handouts, I invite you to revisit that “simplicity in Christ” which has not stopped moving to this day. Instead of a W on a projector screen, it is now the Tammuz Cooking Table. How I miss that ugly green volleyball.
I wonder if this next point caused any alarm bells to sound off here in Wadsworth when Dave started to mess around with the Passover again. Is he laying the foundation for a future change?
@ 1:00:43 And He’ll drink wine again for the first time. Take the symbols. It’s a classic example. Now we know that Christ is gonna take the symbols of the bread and the wine in early September. God doesn’t use Holy Days. We would think I thought that would be around Passover sometime. Nope. Not at all.
Did he really say this? Listen for yourself.
@ 1:02:59 It has been my experience, and I’ll promise you I pastored more people than any other minister who ever lived, even thought about, it has been my experience that most people we think are God’s people are lying, unbelieving hypocrites.
The tone of his voice was uncharacteristically soft and full of humility. If you doubt, take a listen.
Okay, I was just kidding.
Dave explains that some folks (maybe me included) get to wait 45 days knowing they will be “burned alive with all the other unbelieving hypocrites who blew off God.”
Believe me, if "biblical" things began to happen, even when and how Dave said they would, I would drop to my knees in a heartbeat and plead with God. He would judge whether it was too late for me or not.
I tend to not sweat that idea too much right now because Dave keeps throwing plastic darts at a concrete board.
@ 1:10:58 Now, maybe we cannot know the day and the hour. If. If we know the day, it’s Thursday night. I’m not sure.
@ 1:14:46 So, could it be Thursday night, Friday night, at the end of the Sabbath into Saturday night? Or later? No matter, we wait.
Wow. This was spoken with such power and clarity that you cannot deny God is behind this. Except, God is not behind this.
He even continued into pondering the possibilities of Av 5 starting at sunset on Monday night or maybe all the way through Trumpets. At this point, why not just let everyone go home and say, “I don’t know folks. Sorry I bothered you.”
Okay, I laughed out loud when I heard this next quote:
@ 1:18:28 Because everyone who understands how simple things just became realizes there is nothing more for me to teach. The days of my voice have to be over. I have nothing else.
AMEN! If only that were true.
@ 1:18:48 It got so easy. So simple. It was hard to believe and yet God waited to the end to make it a signal that we had to be near the end. So, all I can tell you is this man “prepares the way” right before the Father and Christ coming when He’s still a messenger of the covenant, he “rushes to call it out,” I don’t know how I’d be rushing if we got a two-week wait. Or a ten-day wait or even a seven-day wait.
@ 1:19:18 It’s not gonna go another year. The Mystery’s over. I “give a ration” and then “he watches.” And he seems to pretty much know when it is ‘cause he “tells the house” and they’re “found watching” with “their lights on” as though they know the day. If I know the day, if it’s exact, we have two days to go.
If Dave was not all throughout the pages of your Bible when he paraphrases so many verses that apply to himself in a continuous stream, then those comments would appear to be insane.
This was delivered on Tuesday, July 26. Tonight at sundown is the beginning of Av 1.
Wait for it…
@ 1:19:49 The series is over.
He said this with dramatic thumps on the table meaning, “for realsies this time.”
Is this for real? Let me consult the Magic 8 Ball website.
*This was the real answer on my first attempt.
