Certain Uncertainty
April 11, 2026 | by Marc Cebrian
There is one certain thing about David C. Pack: He is uncertain.
The wanna-be/hafta-be apostle, inept prophetic guru, and theological yarn-spinner vacillates between having “an avalanche of proof” about the date for the arrival of the Kingdom of God one week, but then dismantles his own theories the next.
The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God was certain his understanding of the unicorn date of Abib 24 (April 10) was God-inspired during “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 628),” given on March 21, 2026, but became certain of his uncertainty during Part 629.
Part 629 – March 28, 2026
@ 26:38 Abib 24 is impossible.And now we can put it to bed, and we can start talking about are we waiting for three and a half days to Passover?
What took him two hours to preach during Part 628 was dismantled in seconds during Part 629. This triggered the Part 628 Regret-O-Meter bigtime.
Dave whined like a little schoolgirl about how hard his self-assigned job is, while again blaming the Jews for his biblical blunder. The irony of his using multi-sided dice as a visual aid for how challenging prophecy is was lost on him. I cannot help but wonder if this was Bradford Schleifer winking at us.
“The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 629),” given on March 28, 2026, is peak Dave Uncertainty. The Pastor General was Mister Wishy-Washy, Mister Maybe-Maybe Not, and Mister I Dunno in one wrapper.
One moment summarized the heart, spirit, and tone of Part 629. It is certain to make you chuckle.
@ 1:04:48 And and then you hope you can figure it out.If he knew, he'd tell you. It's pretty obvious that I don't know, or I'd be telling you. Or if I or I do know, but I'm not yet ready to tell you. I guess you could see it either way. I don't wanna tell you which it is. I may not know. I may know. I've thought I knew before.
That is a stellar example of WCG Ambassador College's preaching skills in action.
Tell them what you might tell them. Kinda tell them maybe sorta, I guess. Express your doubts about what you may or may not have told them if they wanna see it that way, perhaps.
David C. Pack is certainly uncertain throughout Part 629. Members in the Main Hall at Headquarters must have been wondering why he would even bother to preach if he was so uncertain about so much.
The tone of a sermon is often set within the first few minutes. The brethren of The Restored Church of God certainly felt the same dread I used to when Dave would introduce doubts up front.
@ 02:31 Well, we have Abib 24 in hand. It's right, or it's not.
In times past, I knew that was to point at which to set my pen down. The rest of the sermon was just like that, but worse because it took him one hour and 49 minutes to build to a stunning conclusion:
@ 1:47:58 I’ma just tell ya what I think. I have big doubts about Passover, but it's a very real possibility. I have big doubts about it.
Those bookends encapsulate what members are subjected to week after week after week. And they pay this guy to do that. He studies the Bible all week just to preach uncertainty on the Sabbath.
@ 04:28 Two enormous problems drove last week's position, where we where we went to Abib 24. They got resolved, and we're gonna talk about them.
That is Packian-speak for “I'm gonna throw out what I just preached.” But someone has to accept the blame.
@ 19:17 And the unicorn date we talked about last week became the 24th. Why? Because the Jews said so. And they have a wonderful track record of getting nothing right. That's the beauty of ‘em. They get nothing right.
In my mind’s eye, I can see Brad at the back of the hall subtly smirking and shaking his head when Dave blurts out unintentional comedy like this.
The exquisite irony that pours forth from David C. Pack’s mouth is astonishing perfection. From his own lips, he has said. God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. Dave’s ears cannot hear what Dave’s mouth says. The fatty hubris mass within his skull cannot tolerate self-awareness because it would have a devastating effect on the candy glass walls of his delusion.
Nobody at Headquarters would dare ask, “Mr. Pack, how is your track record?” That person would be certain to know they would be escorted off the property post haste.
For those who wonder if David C. Pack’s certain uncertainty is just a colorful exaggeration, this archive of accurate quotes stands as a witness to who speaks the truth.
@ 27:10 Because it could be Passover, or maybe we’ll see, no, it's not.
@ 29:43 So, you see how what as I study, I'm conflicted. Now, I'm I’m not really conflicted anymore…
@ 55:08 …and they overlay the seven Days of Unleavened Bread. I am not saying, and this where they [chuckles – plays with dice] you could they they move, and you try to figure out, “Wow, that would mean it’s Passover.” It would mean it could be. Or it could be a different seven days. Now, I hope you find this very interesting because I'm taking you deeply into why this was complicated for so long. For so, so long.
@ 1:04:08 Did you think, “Oh, that’s Passover?” Or did you think it could be? Certainly could be. This has been my challenge for a long time, on when God is gonna act.
@ 1:05:21 I'm trying to help you understand. Get ready for Passover, what we're covering. Wanna say it again. Because it could be Passover, and it may not be.
Why RCG members should never take David C. Pack seriously in 3…2…1…
@ 1:31:50 We wondered if the 1335 back there was the date. Then is it Abib 1? Is it Abib 3? Then my next question in the back of my mind, is it Abib 10? I I could I could I could just take a sidebar right now and spend two hours telling you why it looks like it could be Abib 10.
Just like he spent two hours telling them it was Abib 24 the week prior. Abib 24 was a unicorn date that was revealed to him by God, and he had an avalanche of proof to support it. Ponder that.
David C. Pack cannot discern
between God’s inspiration
and his own imagination.
That should sober every member
in The Restored Church of God.
The theme of certain uncertainty was carried from beginning to end. No topic was spared.
@ 1:46:49 There’s an entirely different way to mark the 1335 days that we’ve never once discussed, and I’m pretty sure it’s right. It’s either now over ten days ago. Or we haven’t even gotten to it.
@ 1:48:37 You could ask, “Why would God have us go through all the preparation and all the messages and so forth, and we don't keep it?” [chuckles] …Maybe it's just to test our faithfulness to see if we will.
Right. This is what the brethren of The Restored Church of God need more of, since they have been needlessly suffering continuous uncertainty since August 30, 2013: Testing their faithfulness.
Blind faithfulness that abandons critical thinking is a doom spiral.
David C. Pack is an incompetent, blaspheming, hypocritical liar, false prophet, false apostle, false teacher, theological nincompoop, ineffective speaker, biblical fraud, religious charlatan, covetous thief, and notorious faith breaker. All of that is certain.
@ 1:48:57 So, it’s important to prepare for Passover. And we did. …and we'll know in three and a half days. But I have pretty big doubts, and I wanna leave those with you because you'll prepare and run through the tape in case the tape is further out by some little bit.
The brethren who seek the finish line tape will certainly come to understand it is further out by a lot. So far out that David C. Pack and those who worship him shall never see it in this lifetime.
All these doubts and uncertainties did not stop Dave from dropping a single hint of where they are heading next: Iyar 1 (April 17, 2026).
@ 26:09 The chag that Israel kept, the unicorn date we may be waiting was surely the next Sabbath of Iyar 1. Which, by the way, again, was not just a Sabbath, it was a new moon, and would make it really a chag. A double season of refreshing, if you will. I’m not saying that’s the date. But if it is the date, we ought to know which date we’re waiting for.
After he officially announces Iyar 1 as the unicorn date, there will be a sense of more certain uncertainty.
After 142 failures, it is hard to feel any empathy for the brethren of The Restored Church of God. David C. Pack needs to keep cranking out new dates just over the horizon to continue the impression of growth and better understanding.
One thing is certain: No one should feel uncertain about the perpetual failure of David C. Pack and the deceptive treachery of those who support him.
