Tall Tales
November 4, 2023 | by Marc Cebrian
David C. Pack is well-known for his tall tales. That is a better way to encapsulate “The Greatest Unending Story!” Series since it began in 2015. It is an eight-year epic work of fiction comparable to the Iliad if Homer were arrogant, incompetent, highly repetitive, and predictable.
Are David C. Pack’s blasphemous fables comedy, tragedy, or just prophetic hentai?
One of his worst creative habits is to rewrite recorded history. Oh, if only the members of The Restored Church of God could just forget what he recently said. Life on the Campus would be so much easier.
Part 471 – September 30, 2023 (Day 1 of The Feast of Tabernacles)
@ 1:37:12 God may want us to delay 1-2-3 or more days.
@ 1:40:10 I won’t announce the day because I can’t. I don’t know.
@ 1:41:07 There is no question whatsoever that the Kingdom of God in power comes on the First Day of the Feast of Tabernacles. Period.
“The Greatest Unending Story (Part 477)” on October 28, 2023, had plenty of biblical gibberish to keep the brethren preoccupied.
Part 477 – October 28, 2023
@ 1:13:51 It’s kind of a hint to us that we’ve got that right. We’ve got it right.
@ 1:14:44 God maybe appears to answer the question but doesn't. But He doesn't say He doesn't.
@ 1:20:13 I understand it now in a way I never did.
@ 39:34 I told you I’d name the Three Shepherds. I already did…I don’t know two of them.
The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God exercises all the faults of his limp-wristed, spastic COG contemporaries while claiming the throne as the chief village idiot who maintains his statue as the self-appointed emperor prancing about in his new clothes.
The chip in his skull has been permanently set to Read Only, whereas all other humans are able to Write. David C. Pack will not learn from past mistakes. And why would he? There is no accountability for him in The Restored Church of God, and he loves to have it so.
He has surrounded himself with the most weak-minded, cowardly, opportunistic, and worthless hirelings money can buy. Bradford Schleifer, Ryan Denee, and Jaco Viljoen are only the tips of the iceberg. By the time you get to the passive rubbery mollusks like Robert Knightley and Richard Lee, you have reached the bottom of the RCG barrel.
Non-critical thinking enthusiasts like Edward Winkfield have one thing in common with sincere-but-sincerely-wrong enablers like Louis Grey: David C. Pack gets a perpetual Pass despite all the clear warnings the Bible contains about false prophets, false apostles, and false teachers.
The Kingdom of God did not arrive on Cheshvan 20, November 4, 2023. Surely, everything is still right on track across the street. That narrative is a tall tale.
Fiction crosses into a lie when the story is presented as fact instead of fantasy. Not only are the brethren tricked by David C. Pack's verbal sorcery, but the illusion is so convincing that he almost believes it himself.
@ 1:43:46 He rushes to call it out, and the man seems to know he gave his last message. This is very helpful. And you wait. He knows it, and everybody else knows it. And he knows the Mystery of God is ended. He knows he’s made it plain. He knows he’s prepared the way. He knows he’s finished his charge. He’s done. One of the problems is when were we ever gonna be done?
David C. Pack was not done with Part 477. At this very minute, he is preparing his notes for today’s story time.
@ 1:44:08 The answer is: when we would learn these final, exquisite details. Now, I’m just gonna tell you I’d hafta know. I’d hafta know I was done. I'm telling you, there is nothing left. The cupboard is bare. The cookie jar doesn’t even have any crumbs in it from which I could give a sermonette. I would if I had to.
He has to. Part 478 is as much a certainty as Part 500. Speaking otherwise is merely a composition of imagination bereft of believability.
What you are about to read is a desperate tall tale presented with biblical cosplay.
@ 45:12 Now, I want to tell you a story at this point, which is kind of interesting. It's a story about the Restored Church of God, and it parallels John the Baptist preparing for Christ.
David C. Pack spends six minutes fabricating associations where none exist. John the Baptist was prophesied to fulfill his role. He was genetically related to Jesus Christ. He had the Holy Spirit while in the womb. His mother’s pregnancy and his birth were surrounded by miracles. John audibly heard the voice of God, received direct instructions, and saw the Holy Spirit.
David C. Pack and The Restored Church of God have none of that, but he insists on indulging in his presumption fantasies, proving every word by talking until it is true.
@ 45:54 So Christ started out, we might say, with an enormous bang…Massive throngs.
@ 46:25 He would go into a village and heal the entire village. Now, John didn't do any miracles. Not one, not one.
@ 46:40 But Christ did endless miracles. All kinds of things. Yet there was this interesting moment in John 6…
Dave is about to make a direct parallel between Jesus Christ teaching His followers must eat His flesh and drink His blood…and The Greatest Untold Story! Series.
@ 47:21 “From that time, many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more.” No more with Him. They just walked away. Now, they saw all these miracles, and they walked away. I've watched people walk away from the church. They saw miracles. By the time Christ was crucified and at the end of 40 days of working with his disciples, 119 people are the sum total of those who were still with Him.
Jesus Christ and David C. Pack were teaching concepts too wonderful for followers to accept.
@ 47:59 Great numbers saw Him, but only 119 were still there. 120 minus Judas. So what happened to everybody? In some ways, that's the story of The Restored Church of God.
You have to laugh out loud. That is so incredibly NOT the story of The Restored Church of God.
@ 48:15 We were booming along for about 15 years. I mean, 20% growth. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I have the numbers. Couple years we hit 30% and 25%, and then a couple times we were 15% or 17%. Whatever it may have been. But I mean 20%.
A complete disconnect from reality in 3…2…1…
@ 48:33 And then, Mr. Pack started talking about the plan of God. And we leveled off.
A week earlier, Dave reimagined what the Series was actually about. It took him eight years to discern that, but now he can rewrite history and alter the talking points as if that was the understanding from the beginning.
The first nine parts focused on the Third Temple in Jerusalem being built. Later, we were taught the temple would come down from heaven and rest on the Campus in Wadsworth. This was the nefarious reason behind science fiction movies having aliens invading. It was Satan’s way of mentally conditioning the masses to reject God’s arrival and see Him as an enemy.
Part 8 is when Elijah became That Prophet. The “rigid doctrine” doctrine was from Part 17. The New Heavens and New Earth were Part 20. The Man of Sin took center stage in Part 31. Revelation Sorcerers were the subject of Part 36. Part 50 addressed the political elections and the role of the Campus as a “city set on a hill.”
For further context of how long concepts have dragged along, on January 15, 2020, Part 229 was subtitled “Our Final Sabbath.” You get the idea.
@ 48:38 And people were learning things they never knew.
They never knew it because it was not true. A majority of what was taught during the Series has been rejected by David C. Pack himself. What people were learning was nonsense-stuffed malarkey.
A critical takeaway from this concept is that growth in RCG was once a fruit of God's blessing. The open letter to all the WCG Splinters titled “RCG Fruits—Obvious Fingerprints of God!” in January 2012 trumpeted that.
You can download a PDF HERE.
Last year I wrote, “Almost none of the organizations (large or small) that formed from the Worldwide Church of God in the wake of the apostasy are growing. In fact, many, or even most, are declining in size, as well as in virtually all standard categories of measurement. Literally thousands are wondering where to go—what to do. While some don’t care, others do care about the fruits and doctrines of an organization—and would seek to prove them. These brethren would be examining the opinions, looking for GOD’S FINGERPRINTS in an organization. They realize that these tell-tale signs would be visibly obvious to those looking for them!”
Dave must have gotten wiser in his old age because, as of Part 477, he no longer believes what he distributed publicly in 2012.
I also wrote last year, “Growth is the greatest indicator of fruit. Each separate category demonstrating growth forms another fruit one can measure. In this regard, The Restored Church of God is without peer in every category of measurement! This is in addition to being the only Church that teaches without compromise the exact same doctrinal truths taught by Herbert W. Armstrong in the WCG until his death in 1986.” It is still true that we teach EVERYTHING Mr. Armstrong taught—no exceptions! Therefore, it is still true that we are being blessed as a result.
Dooh!
Wow, that content did not age well. Not only is RCG in decline, but David C. Pack has walked away from dozens of WCG teachings he promised to uphold when he founded his splinter in 1999.
But, on the bright side, he wins no matter what happens to the RCG spreadsheets. Nestor Toro and Brian Jackson now have more manipulation tools in their gaslighting bag of tricks to ward off the fiery darts of uncomfortable questions from their congregation.
If RCG grows, it is a fruit of God’s blessings.
If RCG shrinks, it parallels Christ's ministry, which fits the Bible pattern.
There is no longer a downside to people leaving or income crashing. Is that some great position or what?
Now, it is impossible for brethren to ever again discern if something happening in RCG is God's blessing or curse. How that is perceived will be determined by which angle of the tall tale Dave decides to spin it. No matter where the dice lands on the board, the turn will forever be in his favor.
@ 48:41 But this one that God calls a refiner's fire and fuller soap and a poker started poking people.
David C. Pack started poking people with failed dates for the return of Jesus Christ. He started diminishing the presence of Jesus Christ in the Old Testament and replaced Him with himself.
@ 48:49 They're learning exciting things. “Wow, look at that.” But we leveled off…but as the worse the world got, the more our young people said, “I want the devil's world.”
Dave has a very warped sense of reality and is proving his self-delusion with this entire concept.
The young people in The Restored Church of God consistently prove to be wiser than their parents. They bail out because they refuse to ignore the obvious lies from the ministry, and their calendars mark just as well as anyone else.
Jesus Christ did not bring the Kingdom of God this morning. The young people are not eager for the devil's world. They just have no tolerance for hypocrisy and biblical fraud from a false prophet. But Dave cannot see it that way. The bad news is always someone else’s fault.
@ 49:01 So, we went flat, and we've been flat pretty much ever since. I'm thankful we're not down to 119 people. But if we were, would you be one of them? I didn't do any miracles, and I'm far from being [chuckles] like Christ.
As noted in RCG’s Flat-World Theory, flat is just code for a decline in denial.
He chuckled right there because his lying lips say he is far from being like Christ, yet his heart has continually made efforts to remove the titles of Jesus Christ and give them to himself. He inches his way closer and closer to being like Christ and not in the “building character” department.
David C. Pack is That Prophet, The Branch, The Messenger of the Covenant, the Shepherd and Stone of Israel, the Star of Jacob, one like the Son of Man, and one last Lawgiver. And those are not all of them.
@ 49:52 So, that's quite a story about us. It's almost like when it really got exciting, but people had to meet standards.
Pause.
There have been standards in the church since the 1940s. Standards have nothing to do with why people leave. The ridiculous, unbiblical rules in the Ministerial Manual did not shift starting in 2015.
When things really got exciting, nothing happened on Elul 24 in 2013. The “Night Watch” on Esther's Fast in 2019 had nothing to do with standards. Neither was the “Jesus Christ Returns on Christmas” that annually appears. Passover, Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, Trumpets, Atonement, Feast of Tabernacles, and the Last Great Day all had their time in the sun as impossible to be anything else.
RCG brethren are ever-preparing for more exciting events in Tammuz, Elul, Tishrei, Cheshvan, Kislev, Tevet, Abib, Av, Shevat, Iyar, and Sivan.
David C. Pack cannot see his own faults and change because of them. He sets a date, but it fails; he makes excuses and finds another one. That is the RCG story. But people leave because they do not like the standards? Puh-lease. Is anyone buying that tall tale?
@ 50:17 People kept quitting. Quitting now? Are you insane? The answer is Yes. Yes, they are.
It does not appear so insane here on Cheshvan 20, though.
@ 50:50 So, once we got into the refining for this tiny group that was gonna go first and lead a hundred billion people. Had to get hot…But we had a period where it was it's been hot. It's hot in the world now, but I mean, it's been fairly hot for us.
It is unclear what Dave is referring to about things being “fairly hot” in RCG. Undoubtedly, the ineffective little website nobody knows about called exrcg.org has absolutely zero impact on their numbers or reputation. At least Brad Schleifer is sleeping easier now that he no longer reads this blog.
My educated guess about what is “hot” for Dave would be around financial circumstances. With interest rates so high now, refinancing endlessly as in years past is no longer an option. Carl Houk must get even more creative with juggling the growing money issues as attendance declines. Oh, excuse me, is flat.
@ 51:17 I don't think we have any more time. I think you know enough about prophecy to know we don't.
When Part 478 starts moments from now at Headquarters, David C. Pack will be pleased to announce we all have more time because he now knows even more about prophecy. He thought he understood, but now he does. Not to worry, everything is fine.
@ 51:33 We've seen refining at in the most extraordinary things. I mean, you know, you tell people that they've gotta sell all, some do. Others say, “No, can't, can't do that.”
And there it is. The money angle. You cannot have an end of days without one last cash grab that would prove to be irrelevant if anything Dave ever said came true. It never hurts to ask for the money even if you never have time to spend it. After all, giving Common benefits the brethren for the sake of their salvation, not Dave. It does not go to him. Remember, it goes to the church.
@ 51:49 Now, I wanna give more proofs of Cheshvan 1.
Now, THAT is the true story of The Restored Church of God, and it parallels Bible warnings about false prophets, false teachers, wolves, hirelings, and angels of light, which is a veritable roster of players at Headquarters.
The story of The Restored Church of God is a cautionary tall tale of biblical fraud, manipulation, mind control, fear-mongering, hypocrisy, blasphemy, lies, and deceit. The tall tale is that David C. Pack is led by God to end the Mystery of God and prepare a people for the coming of the Lord.
Truth is stranger than fiction. David C. Pack teaches fiction, and that is the truth.
