Tortured Apologetics
April 29, 2023 | by Marc Cebrian
David C. Pack demeans himself during “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 438)” on April 27, 2023. While on his hands and knees kissing the pinkie ring on Herbert W. Armstrong’s corpse, he takes a hammer to the man’s toes, making a bad situation even worse.
After neutering Herbert W. Armstrong during Part 437 by undoing his central legacy cocktail topic, it must have pricked Dave’s conscience because he goes out of his way to throw “his father in the Gospel” a bone with generous portions of meat still attached.
Before the grand suck-up, Dave hinted it was coming.
Part 438 – April 27, 2023
@ 23:32 And maybe Mr. Armstrong was more right than he knew (in a certain way). Certainly, when a lot of trumpets go off.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Right in a certain way.
Maybe Dave was adding 2% back to the understanding ratio so HWA could be resurrected with his head held high. Having 2.01% of his prophetic understanding acknowledged by the two man-children nicknamed Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy would brighten anyone's day. The Elijah That Prophet Stamp of Approval would be the cherry on top.
You will never hear a more pathetically gushing walk-back than this tortured apologetics diatribe from David C. Pack during Part 438.
apologetics
reasoned arguments or writings in justification of something, typically a theory or religious doctrine
Even though he was seated, I could feel every muscle and joint in his body stretching to the near-breaking point with his verbal contortions. Usually, only people who practice yoga can twist like this.
Even now, I cannot listen to this two-and-a-half-minute clip without crying with laughter. It is both hilarious and agonizing. Former members, please fight through your PTSD and listen to it. You will be glad you did.
@ 52:30 The first Five Heads of the Roman Church attacked one generation in their time. We might ask, Does the Sixth Head work in its space of only one generation?
Activate the Rule of Thumb. Question posed. The answer is always: YES. He goes on to say it is Yes.
@ 52:50 As you know, I like to say this, so the Great Servant Herbert Armstrong thought (and he saw in the Scriptures) that there would be one generation of Israel taken captive before the Kingdom of God came. Was he wrong?
Instead of saying No, he approaches it from the opposite angle with feeble excuses. Watch the squirming commence.
@ 53:10 If he had it as the Seventh Head when it's the Sixth, but in principle, he was right, just off by a digit because he thought the Sixth Head was in his time and couldn’t see the Eighth.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Off by a digit because he thought…
By this logic, the Sunday-keeping Catholics are right about the Sabbath “in principle,” they are just “off by a digit.” Talk about labored spin. This is tortured apologetics with nitromethane added to the fuel tank.
Dave is already straining so hard you could worry if he would pop a blood vessel. As Dave describes, HWA was clearly in complete error, but he is determined to give him a hard pass no matter how bleak things look. It goes from bad to worse. Enhanced with much shouting.
@ 52:23 That would be a very understandable mistake, wouldn't it? So, he taught that one generation, always believing it's the generation that was here (although we’ve now moved a couple generations since God called him.) It would be one generation that went into captivity.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Very understandable mistakes.
Teaching a faulty doctrine for decades is now considered a “mistake.”
Who judges what is or is not "understandable" regarding prophetic accuracy? How about when it is enforced by a church as a doctrine with “truth” stamped on the side? Is David C. Pack qualified to determine this?
That is leaving the fox in charge of the hen house.
This is going poorly. Dave had to add his own parentheticals, which further exposed how wrong his mentor was. HWA thought it was during his time, but “a couple generations” later proves that false.
This display reeks of desperation and further diminishes my already low opinions of David C. Pack.
@ 53:41 He also was confused, so he took the period of captivity from the Eighth Head, called the whole thing the Seventh Head when it was really the Sixth Head. But, in principle, it was dead bang. He just thought this kingdom [Shot Glass] was gonna follow one generation of Israelites going into captivity.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
He also was confused.
Remind me to never ask David C. Pack to defend me in court. He is awful at apologetics. He kicked the ball into his own team's net and lost the game. Thanks, Dave.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
He just thought…
Pause. Try to think of Dave defending Gerald Flurry or Harold Camping the same way. That cannot be done. It is too fantastic to even try to imagine.
@ 54:06 So, if he called the Sixth the Seventh and borrowed the space that was really the Eighth (I'll say again), that’s a very understandable mistake.
By Dave making excuses for Herbert W. Armstrong, he is really excusing himself. At every turn, he digs the hole deeper and deeper. Each new detail exposes just how much more wrong HWA was than when he started supporting him.
Remember, David C. Pack is defending the man.
@ 54:18 I’m not trying to just go like that [pats himself on the shoulder] because I was willing to believe it for fifty years. It was very believable.
It was just not “very true.”
If you listen to the Jehovah’s Witness on your doorstep, they sound very believable. Those nicely dressed Mormon kids know their Bibles and sound very believable. Joel Osteen has made a career out of making biblical vomit believable. We can now count Herbert W. Armstrong among the greats.
@ 54:24 He said the Kingdom of God (he didn’t have these two iterations in place [Glass 1 & Glass 7]), and he didn’t see that there would be a Kingdom to Israel in front of this. [Shot Glass]) But, somebody [me] would be raised up at the end of the age to tell the church about a Kingdom to Israel and two other Kingdoms of God before this one [Glass 1000]. But the man was much more right, and what he taught the world was far closer to right, I mean, you know, here's the alternative: When you die, you go to heaven, even if you're Al Capone.
Much more right than what? Dave fizzled out before that thought was brought to fruition. Did he mean Buddhists? Maybe Muslims?
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Much more right than Taoists.
He could say Protestants are "far closer to right" than Hindus. With this logic, David C. Pack was saying that Herbert W. Armstrong was the lesser of the evils.
Do not let Dave defend me. Ever.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Far closer to right than Al Capone.
The estate of Al Capone takes exception to that remark.
@ 54:55 I mean, that's so he taught the Gospel of the Kingdom of God. He just didn’t see the iterations because the Mystery of God was slated to be understood right before it was carried out. And cannot be carried out until it is understood.
There are only two positives by the end of Dave’s gushing apologetics seizure.
HWA knew punishment comes on one generation.
HWA knew there was a Gospel of the Kingdom of God.
Yeah, that's it. Herbert W. Armstrong proved he could read. What a fabulous new gold star pinned on the fridge of his legacy.
As if Dave did not already do enough damage to the man “he loves” to call a Great Servant, he had to keep the Weekend at Bernie’s disaster going. The over-compensating, over-explaining was overdone five minutes ago. And yet, it continued.
@ 1:00:04 Mr. Armstrong is starting to look really, really right, just off by a number.
1 + 1 = 3 is off by a number. There is a great gulf fixed between being correct and being incorrect.
Herbert W. Armstrong:
Just off by a number.
Parents do not want their kid's second-grade math teacher to be off by a number, much less an apostle and Pastor General of a church.
I have neither positive nor negative feelings about Herbert W. Armstrong. But as an observer, considering The Restored Church of God was established in 1999 to carry on that man’s legacy, this tortured apologetic fiasco stabs the guy in the liver while trying to save him from drowning.
It would have been better if Dave just let him stay dead.
@ 1:45:50 One final thought. Revelation 17:10 describes the Sixth Head IS. Is. You gotta be alive right now. Mr. Armstrong believed in his time that was true. But he thought it was 90 years ago, and then that came and went. So, he thought the Seventh Head would come. But we know, looking at it from the proper perspective 90 years later, the Sixth Head IS. “Meaning what, Mr. Pack?” He is here somewhere. You might wanna start looking around. And one of the nice things about the Splinters, it gives me a warm feeling in my heart, they are waiting for somebody to rise in Europe.
Is Dave paid by the prosecution or the defense? Is he protecting HWA or pushing him off a cliff?
Herbert W. Armstrong:
He believed that was true.
Dave straps on the Last Resort Life Vest by invoking the Splinters, of all things. The very organizations he has accused of being the Synagogue of Satan, operated by the devil and filled with wicked, lazy ministers. Even if all that is true, there is still a bright side.
@ 1:46:54 But, their heads are right because of Mr. Armstrong teaching (in essence) what’s correct. Okay, lemme say it again. He was lookin’ for the Seventh Head, but, really, the Sixth Head’s coming. And then, he borrowed the period from the Eighth Head even though he didn’t believe there was an Eighth Head, but he borrowed it. But, in essence, he prepared everybody.
So, Herbert W. Armstrong is the cucumber water of prophetic understanding.
To recap all the remarkable things Herbert W. Armstrong has accomplished, according to David C. Pack during Part 438:
He was right “in a certain way.”
He was right “in principle.”
He was “off by a digit.”
His mistakes are “very understandable.”
He was “confused.”
He “just thought…”
He “borrowed the space that was really…”
He taught what was “very believable.”
He “didn’t see…”
He was “far closer to right…”
He is better than “Al Capone goes to heaven.”
He was “just off by a number.”
He “believed in his time that was true.”
He taught “in essence what’s correct.”
He prepared the Splinters “in essence.”
This was the most tortured attempt at apologetics I have ever witnessed.
Do not ever let David C. Pack defend me. Ever. EVER.
